Dating an Architect

A, sadly accurate, summary of the trials and tribulations of dating an Architect. It's probably why I am single. Thanks to www.howaboutwe.com for the list below:

“Architects make a lot of money.”

This is not true. (But people assume it is.)

Architects are used to late nights.

In theory, it shouldn’t be a problem to stay up all night for sexytime. But in reality, they probably pulled an all-nighter last night and are ready to crash at 8 tonight.

There is no such thing as a fat architect.

For some reason. I have no idea.

Things you never even knew existed are now the most important. thing. ever.

“That is the ugliest fucking radiator ever”, “How did they not align the light switch with the outlet?” “What’s your favorite kind of hinge?” “What’s your favorite CAD command?”

They’re probably anal.

They probably have one of three “systems” for organizing their bookshelves: by color, by size (largest to smallest), by publisher. None of these make any sense and ironically provide the very opposite of “order”, but it doesn’t matter, because it looks better. In fact, they will have a “system” for everything, including organizing the fridge and how to put their clothes away. You might think it’s cute at first, an endearing quirk – until you realize how much of their precious little free time is consumed by obsessing over things that a) no one cares about and b) does not enhance their lives in any way.

After a while, you will only hang out with architects.

This happens. Hope you don’t just love your architect, but that you love ALL architects.

Architects handle relationship/life stress well.

Because anything is less stressful than a deadline.

You won’t get studio.

Prepare yourself for constant references to this mysterious place called “studio” that they spent every waking moment of their college lives in, and never being let on on the inside jokes, with explanations like “you had to be there” or “it was a lot funnier at four in the morning.”

They will be coffee snobs.

If it’s not organically grown, economically sustainable and socially consciously harvested, and brewed in a vintage French Press OR a Chemex, chances are, they might politely decline your coffee. Until, four minutes later, they realize they’re caffeine deprived and, ethics be damned, this presentation needs to get to Dubai by 1AM…

Architects are passionate, dedicated people.

They didn’t get through 5 years of architectural school by being lazy, indifferent and stupid. (Need a first date conversation starter? Ask them about how many people dropped out of their program freshman year – they’ll be all too proud to tell you that “they were one of the few” who made it out unscathed.”) They know just enough about every culturally relevant artist, philosopher, composer etc to make them seem exceptionally worldly and cultured – your parents should love them. Keep in mind that it’s all a facade (no pun intended!) and that if you were to press them on any one of those topics, they’ll find a way to skillfully manipulate the conversation into some abstract “concept” and avoid being called out on not knowing shit.

 

You can always dream...

Yes...you too can be an architect. Isn't it inspiring?

Preach

Well, I guess this would be one way to expose a person to the truths about architecture.....

Moments in Hell #3

Moments in Hell #3:

The other day a client, who is developing a set of townhouses, asked me to revise a floorplan: smaller laundry room, bigger closet. Fine, except that the new laundry room, with a corner door that the client wants, will prevent a washing machine from fitting through the door and then back into the space provided. I explained this to the client, showing a drawing with dimensions. The client thinks it will be fine and has gone ahead and built the corner door. I guess we'll just have to see who was right.

Silent Observer, Utah

Moments in Hell #2

Moments in Archi-Hell #2:

Today, our client informed us that they would like to buy a sculpture piece for their living room. It is 22 feet tall and 3 feet wide. To comply with the town building's requirements, we can have 19 foot ceilings. Still, they forwarded us photos of the sculpture with the request: At some point would you tell us if there is a way we could fit it in?

CASwimmer, California

She asked me to include this:

Introducing....Moments from Hell...

So, as you can see, going back to an office has been less than helpful on the writing end. Let's just say, going back to work is pretty much like pushing the play button on a life you had on pause. The scenery changes, but not much else.

Today, I was gchating with an old classmate, lamenting about certain horrors that have come rushing back now that I am working again. Her converstation, along with an awesome email from another classmate, has lead me to this new series on my blog - a way to kick-start things back here. So, without further ado:

Moments from Archi-hell.

Think of it as twitter updates, or shorts stories along the lines of fmylife. I'll take submissions, if readers out there have some gems they wish to share. Send them to me, with your psuedonym and location. Otherwise, I'll draw from my own archives....

Moments from Archi-Hell, #1:

Today, a client asked me to re-arrange a corner office and a server room. The new arrangement has created a windowless office and a server room with a great view.

-melis, alabama

Life in the Modern World

Is it really like this? I'd like to think not...but the captions are really, really good.

Architect Hotness...

I've mentioned Hollywood's obsession with architects - or at least their stereotype of architects as sexy and hot. So you can imagine what I thought of this article, sent to me by an old friend. Sure, it's an old one, but it is still relevant, particularly this line:

Unlike a painter or poet -- to which the adjective "starving" is for good reason attached -- architects are assumed to have an earning capacity that would allow them to live large on the screen.

Seeing as I have yet to experience the second half of that statement, I'll mosey on, laughing at the silver screen.